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 My Parents

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Stacey
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PostSubject: My Parents   Fri Dec 08, 2006 5:53 pm

i ddnt live with my parents during my chiildhood years (my grandma raised me while they went overseas) and because of this i constantly feel that they just abandoned me and when i found out that i was meant to be aborted that even made me more mad at my parents because i felt and still feel rejected...loong story short im now 23 and living with my parents and they are having difficulties in their marriage because of an affair and they are constantly speaking of divorce...is it ok for me not to care if they get one....because i honestly feel they were never there for me and never part of my life, so how can it affect me...i mean i grew up without them so, it wont make much of a difference now...
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Damian
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PostSubject: Re: My Parents   Fri Dec 08, 2006 6:01 pm

Stacey,
We must never judge people from their past. For one, we are not in their shoes, so who is to say that you would not done the same,in an identical situation. Two, Salvation and repentence would have been nul and void if The Lord kept judging us from our past.
I understand that your feelings may have been hurt from knowledge of the past. However, it did not happen so don't let it get you angry or hurt. Your are here, so enjoy life to the fullest now. I have also used the past to justify negative actions, then i usually find it foolish to do that, it really makes no sense to lose joy over nothing. Why should I err or sin because of someone else's short comings?
Regardless of what or whom your parents were, the bottom line is they are still your parents. It is better to reason with them as to understand the situation at that point in time. Empathy is LOVE, and Love is the greatest commandment. Try to put yourself in that situation and see what you come up with.
Though it may be hard to connect with them because of previous circumstances, you owe it to yourself and your future children to at least have a relationship with them. Don't deprive or rob yourself of this opportunity. There are many people in the world who wish they could have known both their parents.
So put away anger and don't be bitter toward them. Instead forgive them for your own sake, for your own wellness wholeness and happiness. Whether they are together or not, love them both the same. It is not easy living in this cruel world, don't add additional stress and inflict negativity to your own life.
Indifference is a an emotion of unresolved matters. You may feel it is not affecting you, but deep down it does and in ways you don't realise. Trust me i know, I am champion indifferent. Holding hurt and pains inside will destroy you, and especially when it is against your parents. Because, not honoring them and being rebellious in any way leads to your destruction and death.(that's bible)
Within your words there is hurt, disappointment and pain. Don't hold it in. Talk to them with all honesty and explain how you really really feel. Be respectful and they will have to listen.
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Stacey
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PostSubject: Re: My Parents   Fri Dec 08, 2006 6:02 pm

Damian i undersatand where you're coming from, but it's so hard i have tried but with my culture we are not expected as children to talk to our parents in that way,and if you do you ara considered to be a bad child, because our parents are always right in everything they do in my culture.
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Damian
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PostSubject: Re: My Parents   Fri Dec 08, 2006 6:02 pm

i'm not sure what you mean about "in that way," but what i can tell is you if you are respectful you can express what ever view you have in any cultural setting.
When I went to university my professor/advisor was from China. They have total intolerance for disrespect in insubordination of any kind. Most of the students did not like this professor, and he was stern and strict with his grading.
But I was able to express my views on things I did not like about cirriculum structure, without any discord and kept very good teacher/student relationship, which enabled me get favor not only in class but also with paid research opportunities.
It's not what you say but how you say.
He later tolf me he seldom liked the American Students b/c of their attitude.
So you you no matter what culture you are from Amanda once you keep a culture of Christ of respect and Love you will reach far.
I just shared with you tow secrest which will allow a person to reach ahead in life.
RESPECT AND LOVE
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Stacey
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PostSubject: Re: My Parents   Fri Dec 08, 2006 6:03 pm

thanks for your advice,i will try it but what meant by "in that way" was that in the arab culture we are not allowed to go to our parents and say that i disagree with this or that, but i will try and give give it a shot though.
P.s ;my name is Stacey not Amanda(she's the young girl that posted something here as well right?)
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Apostle Vivian

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Number of posts : 12
Registration date : 2006-12-08

PostSubject: Re: My Parents   Fri Dec 08, 2006 6:04 pm

Stacey, I can only imagine the pain that you feel. There is no formula that you can follow to deal with this matter. Damian has given you some good counsel, so I will just add to it. First of all, I want you to know that the mere fact that you are asking this question, it is indication enough that you are very concerned about the divorce and do anticipate more pain if it takes place. You see, even though you did not grow up with them, you are inextricably connected to them biologically and emotionally. So here is the approach I recommend to you.
1. Take pen and paper and list all the incidents that have happened in your life since you were aware of being alive. 2. Try to determine which ones would have turned out differently if your parents were around. 3. How did those experiences make you feel then and how do you feel now? 4. Ask God for the grace to forgive them for not being there for you and the pain caused thereby. 5. Forgive your granny for seemingly conspiring with them to set you in such a position. 6. Forgive yourself, for thinking that you were not good enough for them to take you along. Read Romans 7:15 to 8:39; Romans 12. 7. Forgive God for thinking that He too abandonned you and still rejects and condemns you. God loves you and if you trust Him, he will let this experience work for your good. There are many people waiting to hear your story and how God works it out that you succeed in life, inspite of the difficulty.It will bring freedom to them. 8. Get a copy of my book, FORGIVENESS UNLIMITED. It will help in your healing. I prophesy God's strength and favour in your life to deal with anything that comes your way.

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Remember when God made you He had destiny on His mind.
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Damian
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PostSubject: Re: My Parents   Fri Dec 08, 2006 6:05 pm

My Apologies Stacey didn't mean to mix up names. And I made alot to typographical errors too in my haste, as I am at my job when i reply. That is something I am working on
Apostle Vivian has given you some sound practical advise, I hope you implement it.
I am ignorant of Arab culture except for what i experienced in NEW-YORK in buying food and Jewellery. But i assumed that it is basically a muslim culture.
So I am suprised that you found this site and even asked for counsel. I am glad you did though, but just suprised.
Do you live in Trinidad or elsewhere? How did you come to find this site?
I trust that you have pledged alligance to The King of Kings and Lord of Lords, Christ JESUS and are on your way to getting baptised for the cleansing of sins, if you have not done so already.
SPREAD THE GOSPEL OF SALVATION
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Stacey
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PostSubject: Re: My Parents   Fri Dec 08, 2006 6:05 pm

no actually i dont live in trinidad i live in sydney-australia and i found out about this site from a friend who happened to be there at one of apostle's programs when he visited Australia and yes i have given my life to Christ. You and Apostle have really helped me and i will try out your advice but how do i get my hands on Apostle's book?
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Damian
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PostSubject: Re: My Parents   Fri Dec 08, 2006 6:06 pm

Well the home page has all the contact information you will need to request a book. You can call or e-mail Divine Destiny. That would be your best bet.
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